Ask A Queer: Alberto

Today’s queer is Alberto. Alberto is 23 years old and resides in New York City, but he was born and raised in Mexico City. He is a movie lover and works in entertainment. Alberto has a B.A. in both Film Studies and Psychology and a M.A. in Film Studies. He loves making films, writing about them (he’s a prolific movie reviewer) and talking about them - he promises he could go on for days on end talking about cinema. Currently, he is a scenic design and props intern at an entertainment group in NYC.

You can find Alberto under the handle @albertoachar on Twitter and Instagram.

If there is a word you don’t understand in this blog post, you can consult the main page of “Ask A Queer” for definitions. Now let’s get into it! The following responses from Alberto were only edited for clarity. These words and this experience are all his.

Alberto.

Alberto.

How do you identify? What are your pronouns?

I am asexual and aromantic. My pronouns are he/him.

What do you wish people understood about your identity?

I would like for people to understand that not being sexually attracted to anyone is a real thing and not a form of sexual repression that’s related to any traumatic events in the past. Asexual people can still find other people visually attractive. I can recognize when someone is attractive in general, but I am just not interested in having a romantic or sexual relationship with people.

What can allocishet people do to support your community?

What I ideally want is pretty much impossible, because it would require a restructuring of society. I feel like society is built around the need to have a sexual or romantic partner, which automatically shuts us [aromantics and asexuals] out. I want people to understand that it’s okay if they don’t have a partner, regardless of how society is built. But something a little more realistic I’d like from the straight community is acknowledgement and respect. To stop assuming that we are sexually repressed or that we are going to “grow out of it.”

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What do you love about being queer?

I love that I belong to a community that will not judge you for who you are and that welcomes diversity wherever it comes from. I have always been an outsider, so I have developed a certain proclivity for breaking the homogeneity mold and not being like everybody else, just like many others in the LGBTQIA community. I love that about being queer.

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How do you stay connected to the LGBTQ+ community?

I’m actually pretty bad at this. The best way I stay connected is by watching and supporting films, or any other visual media, that is not only made by queer artists, but also that celebrates the LGBTQIA community and its diversity. Media representation is really important to me so there’s no better way to support it other than actually consuming it.

What does the LGBTQ+ community need to work on? How can they better support your identity?

I feel the community needs to work on intersectionality. Especially in regards to ethnicity and race. Particular to asexual people however, I think that sometimes we are forgotten. When people talk about queers or anything related to LGBTQ+, it feels that asexual people are not in their minds. It even happened to myself. When I realized I was asexual, I never called myself queer until pretty much very recently.

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Describe your coming out experience in 5 words or less.

I don’t think I had a coming out experience. The moment I realized I could be asexual, I just started telling people if it ever came up in a conversation

What are your favorite pieces of LGBTQ+ media?

The films “Blue is the Warmest Color,” “Mysterious Skin,” and “Call me by Your Name.”

Who are your LGBTQ+ role models?

Spanish filmmaker and former actor Pedro Almodóvar, American film director Todd Haynes and American film director Dee Rees.

Who are your favorite LGBTQ+ celebrities?

Lady Gaga, Tessa Thompson, Sarah Paulson, Cara Delevingne and Kristen Stewart.

And finally, are you alright with me referring to you as “queer,” or does the term make you uncomfortable?

Of course! I love that word!